July 21, 2006

Cold you say?

So I'm sitting here getting very intimate with my little heater, rugged up in two jerseys and my coat. Yes the heater is on and I'm still freezing! Living in an old villa is not at all romantic when winter really strikes!
I should have gone to KiwiScraps tonight to crop. I'm having visions of their pellet heater. But I felt I had to stay home tonight, because it's John's birthday. Don't know why I bothered really, he went to bed at 7.30... Instead I've been sifting through my photos on the computer, looking for some to use and hoping for inspiration to strike. Had a play in PhotoShop with one of them to use on my next layout and just as I was happy with how it looked the program shut down! Aaaaargh! And nothing saved of course. I think I'll take this as a warning to do another back-up of my pics onto disc. Haven't done that in a while.

Dare #2 is up at No 8 Wired, go check it out! Here's my contribution for this weeks dare: You Did What? Another one with very little paper. The background is done with paint.

My layout is about John's struggle with mental illness. He suffers from bi-polar disorder which greatly affects and disrupts our daily life. We've been going through a rough patch these past months with his depression having a major impact on our relationship. I thought long and hard about making this the topic for this dare but we're pretty open about his illness and I hope to inspire others to also document the ugly side of life (though not necessarily in public like this) because I believe it shapes us into who we are.The journaling reads: I am so sick of this bi-polar beast ruling not just your life but also mine. How do you justify sleeping for 12-14 hours each night when you are a family man? Where's the balance? Let's just hope that in the future we can see the humour in it, but it's certainly no joke living it now!

In case you're wondering: I asked permission to post this publicly and he had no problems with it. Like I said, we're pretty open about it. This layout was very much a form of therapy for me.


At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Janine said...

Hi Marieke

We have a pellet fire at home and we love it. ave to say though that we are chewing through the pellets this winter. I liked your layout on the Dare site I left a message asking if you has used pastels as the background was qite rich. The pain looks good! Amazing what you can do in photoshop. Anyway thanks for sharing as this is real life!! The good the bad and the ugly.

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Jessejames said...

I think this is awesome ... well done for your layout - I admire people who face up to their day to day problems.

At 5:17 PM, Blogger Kate Skwishy said...

Marieke, honey, that is an amazing LO. So true. Mental illness (any mental illness) is horrible, and affects not just the person diagnosed with it. I am sending you hugs, for those days that you really really need them. Stay strong my sweet.

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Delys said...

Hi Marieke my sister is jessejames...Andrea!
Just giving my support to you and think you both are great to be out there with your problem. That takes guts alright!

At 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MArieke, I missed you on Friday night! Wish you had come... I so love your work at the moment. Love your layout... hope you can look back on it in a year or two and say 'see how far we've come'. It's so easy to forget the hard times when everything is good and yet they are such an important part of our journey... well done.

Naomi (Dunedin)

At 5:58 PM, Blogger Ali Dub said...

There is nothing so powerful as creating a layout with real feeling - you and I both know how rough things can get with BP but wow, when you produce work like this maybe there is a positive hidden in there somewhere?

At 8:55 PM, Blogger nzmommy said...

Marieke - thanks for your post to my blog. I know your relationship woes. I live them daily. I've been dealing with Dh's depression for nearly 4 years, it started after our oldest was born. His depression is up and down depending on how things are in his life but he doesn't suffer from the sort that can lead to suicide. He is now undergoing therapy with a depression therapist that is finally being covered by the government. I often question if I can handle this for a lifetime. I often feel everything that happens in his life is always blamed on the depression. Living it is difficult and many times I do feel I am alone. About 80% of dh's life is down. And up days are never over the top up days. So *hugs* to you, and I didn't mean to ramble ;)


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